dimanche 10 octobre 2010

bof

I hated this year’s Ramadan and I was really glad when it was over. I haven’t really appreciated it this year. There was something wrong, missing. Is it me, or general feeling about the global situation? There is too much wrong in the world to believe there is actually a god. Except if he is particularly sadistic. If my parents heard me…

I used to think that god was created by men to justify all the wrong they did. Its easier to say there is a god behind all this, otherwise the guilt of men would’ve been unbearable. And god knows how cowardly men are hihihi (sorry couldn’t help it)

I wish the greek gods existed because there’d be one for anything in life… especially Eros. Since the world lacks so much love. Seems like today’s religion is hate! I see and feel hate everywhere. It’s hurting me and I don’t understand. Why are we here? To suffer? Then let’s all die together. But if we want to live a good life, then lets do it all together , get rid of all the silly rules and live our lives as we really wish, not like our society or elders want to. (Ok I’m not talking about an orgy right! … boys all the same)

I am one and only and if I don’t make it today when will I do it ( Mickael get out of my body!)

It’s been hard for me realising that I was enjailed in my parents’ culture. Even though I left home 7 years ago and now try to lead an independent life, doing what I feel like doing, following my desires I can’t really go far since my parents build that kind of emotional and psychological wall in my mind, made of all the rules and restrictions. There are some good things of course … like …hmmm lots of things I can’t think of right now, but it’s because there are too many I can’t pick a few!

Coming from a Muslim background, but raised in a French culture, I was a bit lost as to which guidelines I should follow. After thinking and trying hard (you know how hard it is for girls), I decided to follow my own, made of both cultures, and decided to take the best of them…

I realise I tried hard being a Westerner because I’d rejected a part of my Algerian culture, which I now regret. For long I thought I was a rebel, going against family rules. I gave my parents a hard time, but it was just too hard to handle, especially when most of the people around you are of a western background. You compare your lives, and what they got and you don’t. Like I couldn’t dress like Courteney Love even though she was my hero back then, after being in love with NKOTB’s Jordan Knight. My room was full of NKOTB posters and my parents hated it!

Then one day just like that i fell in love with AXL Rose, and my parents almost had a heart attack and started thinking i was a Satanist! Thank god one day my granda came from Algeria and said it was ok to have AXL Rose’s posters in my room because he had real nice hair! Thanks granny :) She really understood me! And now she’s gone to heaven on the right of God… or something like that. Allah Irhamha!

Aucun commentaire: