If Paris was a girl 7

"Rock'n'Roll!!!!" we screamed after drinking another vodka caramel shots that Brian and Michael offered us. I was happy because I looove them. The shots I mean. They're very sweet so easy to drink but make you drunk.

They were cool and sexy guys from the pub. They're American working here in Paris. Clara and I were sitting at the bar, while she was telling me about this new shop where you can get great boots for 10€! I got to go, I'm broke but need boots.

They introduced themselves as soon as they saw us. But one of the guys, Michael asked Clara:
- We know each other right?
- No, I dont think so...
- I'm pretty sure we've met before.
- I would've remembered you...
- Well seems like I've seen you somewhere then...
- Maybe in your dreams.

Meanwhile Brian and I were just watching the repartie game and were amazed at the immediate exchange and attraction between the two. It was so obvious it made me uncomfortable, and seemed to be the case for Brian too.
The two were just devouring each other with the eyes and already on Venus, so I did what I always do in this kind of situation, I went out for a cigarette. Brian followed me.
- So you're American!
- Yeah I'm sorry, just a stupid American. But we did save France on WW2!
- Waw. ok. Seems like we're gonna have fun together.
- No I'm sorry. It's just that it seems to me everyone hates us, so I'm always a bit nervous when I introduce myself... especially to a beautiful French girl like you. Makes it twice harder.
- Really?! Let me see.
-...
- Ok forget about it. Being silly. Well the truth is, the whole world hates the Americans. But we loove your music and your films and your hamburgers.
- Really? You love hamburgers?
- I personnally and officially do love hamburgers... and that makes me want to have one.
- You're hungry?
- Yes!
- Well, I know a place, not too far from here, where you can have the tastiest fat saucy burger you could find in Paris. Wanna go?

I looked inside the bar and saw our friends very busy trying to dig gold out of their throats as if their lives depended on it, so I accepted Brian's nice offer.

We walked some time and stopped before a very elegant building. We were going to his place! I looked at him and asked about it. He replied he was trying to level up to my humour. I thought ok why not.
Went to his huuuuuge classy apartment I could never afford to rent even for a day and felt like I could stay there, and why not live there for a while! Brian and I shared the look. You know that look that says everything when you don't really know what to say.

He offered me champagne, which I accepted. He told me to relax, sit, or just look around while he was preparing it. So I looked around and saw the pictures (never understood why people have pictures of themselves on the beach, or drinking a cocktail, or doing some funny face...) and the beautiful terrace, which gave a wonderful view on the roofs and the Eiffel Tower by far.

He came behind me and whispered in my ear:
- Beautiful isn't it.
- Yeah It must be great to get up in the morning and get that view and come back from work and see it again. Waw.
- I love it that's why I chose it. Maybe you'll get to see it in the morning some time.
- (smiling) yeah you wish!
- (smiling back) One can dream!
- (blushing)
- Champagne for you mademoiselle?
- Yes monsieur merci de votre invitation et de votre élégance. (clinking glasses) Aux chevaux, aux femmes et à ceux qui les montent! Cheers!

The other side in my sleep***

I'm in a weird period right now.

I don't know if it's the France's current state, quite traumatic. Or my irresistible appeal to my parents' country Algeria and the urge of discovering more about my origins. Or the fact I'm 32 and single and everyone from the family, to friends, and workmates reminding me this fact. Or that I see poverty and misery all the time around me, and on TV and reports from all around the world and it always breaks my heart and I feel useless. Or my everlasting fight to lose some weight, have a perfect figure and a perfect face (i dont care about the perfect mind, you cant have it all right?!) Or my struggle/failure to keep a clean account, when the truth is I cant help spending money for shite things and not have any for things that matter. Or my schizophrenia that makes me feel guilty everytime I have a bit of fun and remember I have to act like im a saint when I see my parents on weekends. Or...

I've always always, since I was a child (not sure I've moved forward as an adult though) thought that fantastic creatures do exist but we can't see them but they see us, and only the lucky ones, the ones who can save this world from the evil that's rotting it, could actually communicate with them, and even be trained to use their unknown powers, wishing I could be one of them, which I probably am, but its not my time yet. I have to get to a point where my despair is so big it will instantly provoke a huge cosmic storm and a black hole in peoples mind and, and...

When I sleep I'm in that other world, that princess that was kept hidden from the Black Spells Lord, to awake the elementary power in me and use it to help the world against the black lords. And when I wake up I'm here in reality knowing I am that princess but noone knows! And when I go out to work I see that stranger in the street, I really don't know him but I know this look, this face! Who? Where? When? Maybe in my sleep, but I barely remember the other reality...

I'm not crazy, I know this is true, this is happening. There are dark forces, we can't see them because we are blinded by our selfishness. Only people with a pure heart, and who know real love can see them. I know I am not the only one. There are other people who fall asleep and become Pure Light Lords and when they wake up they know... they know they shouldn't be here, but go back there into their sleep, and basically walk on the other side of the mirror, to fulfill their mission, to destroy the evil and bring love. I don't have my name there, I am called something else, I don't even have the same personality, but it's me. It's not the same world. It's darker. Because peoples' souls and dreams are so dark, there is no light, no hope in this world. I have to focus next time I sleep, I have to remember the faces, because if I see them in my dream, (and it's not a dream, it's another world) then it means they are here, and it's these people I have to find to create the Pure Light Army. There is so much to do and I am on my own. I have to find my powers, I know they're in me, but how?!

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

It's been a few weeks now I’ve come across a lot of guys who say that girls only want money and if you dont have it then the girl’s not interested. Loads of posts on blogs, facebook, etc...

I say, if you actually believe a girl only wants you for your money, you prove her that she has no other reason to be interested in you. I mean you don’t love yourself, you have no other qualities to be accounted for, you are a loser.

This idea that girls like men with money is a fantasy. It is true that being women, thus “supposed” to give life one day, and by extent, having to take care of a child, we need security. And money can be a symbol for security. But it is far from compulsory. You can be a safe man by being there, caring, doing whatever it takes to take care of the ones you love. This is what matters most, with love, and honesty.

Other thing is what is wrong if a girl likes a man who’s nice, smart, funny, and happens to have money. Having money is a bonus. Then it depends on the people, some will only look at rich guys, some others just dont care, most of us. But we could say the same about men who only want a very slim blond girl, with big tits, big ass, “a lady in the street but a freak in the bed”.

If i did studies, and have good wages, and a certain way of life, its just easier for us to meet a guy who kind of have the same level as me. Men hate it when their girlfriends earn more than them.

It’s easier for men to say that girls don’t want them because they dont have the money rather than questioning themselves about their inner qualities. I hate it when rappers do songs about the girls who only want them for the money. So they think they have no other qualities the girls could like them for?

Honestly, we are more about the heart, that’s what makes us and that’s what will kill us.

So guys, here’s my advice. Money or not, just be yourself, or even better than usual if you want a chance with the girl you like. What matters if to open your heart to beautiful feelings, feel the love grow in your chest, and make sure she knows it. Then its destiny.

So stop fuckin hiding behind the money/no money line to justify your shittiness. A woman loves a man who has a big heart to love her, shoulders to support her, confidence to reassure her, pride to defend her. If you do that, she’ll give it back to you a 100 more times without even asking her. Yes we may be subtle and hard to understand sometimes, but we are passionate. Our heart is 100 man’s heart. But we are mysterious beings, even to ourselves. We can love deeply and suffer from it. We believe in the man we love even though the whole world is against us. We are the key of life. We can create and we can demolish. We are God.

cant sleep so...

It seems to me a lot of Muslims in France lost their brains and act follishly or just out of provocation, but not a smart one.

Arent we all supposed to find a way, a compromise to live together in peace? *shit we’re not in 68 anymore*

You know im a (bad) muslim girl, so say im pretty stupid and dont get a thing. I used to think, silly me, that as Humanity moves on with all the philisophical, industrial, scientific, democratic evolutions, Man would improve, forget about his bestiality, and would learn, read, think, be curious and enjoy life. But all I’ve seen these last few years was an irresistible regression to the dark ages, with religion wars, peoples stigmatisations, increasing poverty and injustice.

I see this new Muslim youth that believe at 15 they know everything about Islam, and think its just cool to dress up as talibans at school, because that makes them the bad boys. They treat their mothers and sisters as pets. Not all of them. But I see younger people, boys and girls practising a hardcore kind of Islam, that to me is just half political and half communitarian and a lot of comedy.

I get it that Humanity has always had a common enemy to blame for all the issues and get rid of… but this paranoia has no justification. Where does all this hatred for the west come from? and they’re like hating on europe and america, but at the same time, listen to eminem and wear nikes!

As for some veiled girls, they think they’re saints because they wear it, but most of them are snakes tongues, critisizing people on their backs, caring more about the color of their scarf than religion, but patronising on the women who dont practise as much. Look at yourselves bitches!

If you’re young and fresh and you have all your life ahead, then take your time to get to know yourself, your neighbour and have fun, laugh, be curious, meet people.

When I see them, it really makes me sad because it seems they dont get it. Its trendy to be and look like an extremist. You know, they’re the new black. People are scared of them, they live as a community, with specific rules, they’re like a gang. Its cool to be feared. You’re a bearded Tony Montana with less balls and curly hair.

As for those girls, people pity them because they assume they were forced to wear the veil or else. Truth is its often a way for them to assume their French Muslim identity. I think you dont have to go that far. But its a new kind of feminism, an Islamic feminism, where they defend their identities as a woman and as a Muslim with great symbols such as veils or niqab as they are more striking. Non Muslims think its a confession of submission and mistreatment by their families/husbands. Well not really. They are the new rebels so I know loads of girls who did it as a reaction against the growing islamophobia in France.

Then, what about all these women who dont wear the veil? Are they all happy about their lives, conditions? Is none of them a victim of her family or husband? If so, how do we recognise them? Maybe they should wear the niqab just to let people know they are being mistreated by their husbands. Could be a good trick :p

You see, that is the current level of thinking now in France. Low, narrow, ignorant, full of shit.

ok peace and love yall. or as a french humorist said one, piss (on the front) and love (on the back)

bof

I hated this year’s Ramadan and I was really glad when it was over. I haven’t really appreciated it this year. There was something wrong, missing. Is it me, or general feeling about the global situation? There is too much wrong in the world to believe there is actually a god. Except if he is particularly sadistic. If my parents heard me…

I used to think that god was created by men to justify all the wrong they did. Its easier to say there is a god behind all this, otherwise the guilt of men would’ve been unbearable. And god knows how cowardly men are hihihi (sorry couldn’t help it)

I wish the greek gods existed because there’d be one for anything in life… especially Eros. Since the world lacks so much love. Seems like today’s religion is hate! I see and feel hate everywhere. It’s hurting me and I don’t understand. Why are we here? To suffer? Then let’s all die together. But if we want to live a good life, then lets do it all together , get rid of all the silly rules and live our lives as we really wish, not like our society or elders want to. (Ok I’m not talking about an orgy right! … boys all the same)

I am one and only and if I don’t make it today when will I do it ( Mickael get out of my body!)

It’s been hard for me realising that I was enjailed in my parents’ culture. Even though I left home 7 years ago and now try to lead an independent life, doing what I feel like doing, following my desires I can’t really go far since my parents build that kind of emotional and psychological wall in my mind, made of all the rules and restrictions. There are some good things of course … like …hmmm lots of things I can’t think of right now, but it’s because there are too many I can’t pick a few!

Coming from a Muslim background, but raised in a French culture, I was a bit lost as to which guidelines I should follow. After thinking and trying hard (you know how hard it is for girls), I decided to follow my own, made of both cultures, and decided to take the best of them…

I realise I tried hard being a Westerner because I’d rejected a part of my Algerian culture, which I now regret. For long I thought I was a rebel, going against family rules. I gave my parents a hard time, but it was just too hard to handle, especially when most of the people around you are of a western background. You compare your lives, and what they got and you don’t. Like I couldn’t dress like Courteney Love even though she was my hero back then, after being in love with NKOTB’s Jordan Knight. My room was full of NKOTB posters and my parents hated it!

Then one day just like that i fell in love with AXL Rose, and my parents almost had a heart attack and started thinking i was a Satanist! Thank god one day my granda came from Algeria and said it was ok to have AXL Rose’s posters in my room because he had real nice hair! Thanks granny :) She really understood me! And now she’s gone to heaven on the right of God… or something like that. Allah Irhamha!

These last days have been quite hectic with all the work, friends, and family issues.

My parents called me because one of my uncles is coming to visit them for few weeks and told me i had to spend most of my free time at home since noone knows in Algeria and here I already left home to live a single's life ..in Paris.

Now, my parents are Muslim Algerians. In a code that was written centuries ago, even before the first dynosaure appeared, it is written in GOLDEN MARBLE CAPITAL LETTERS that Muslims girls can't leave their parents home before getting married. Even if the above mentioned girl isn't married by 45. A parents' job, or should i say a mother's job isn't finished until she properly marries her daughter, especially the eldest, and attends the baby's birth, helps choosing the name, babysits the baby and finally takes over the parents.

I am 31, still single, nowhere near getting married in the next 5 years, so she's getting a bit desperate because she realises she is nowhere near having a quiet life unbringing my 3 children while my very rich and honorable husband and I work.

Since I left home, they always had to lie to our friends and neighbours because... they never told them I had left home. So I'm either working very late "poor good hardworking girl", or living at my cousins" because office is so far and it would be a 4 hour trip everyday", or attending some kind of professional Muslim network " to improve her chances of having a great job, getting to know more people of our community, especially if he's a lawyer or a doctor, Muslim of course, and coming from a big Algerian family, from either Algiers, Oran, Tlemcen, or Mascara"!

I told Mum I couldn't be there every evening just to make him believe I was still living with them. She got angry saying that I'd rather be with my friends than with my family, that I couldn't even make an effort for something so important to them, that I had forgotten who I am, where I came from, my god, and that I'd probably get married to a Jewish American if I could - is Gabriel a Jewish American?- So I agreed to spend the next three week-ends at home pretending I'm a good Muslim girl. For the rest of the week, I will be in Lyon doing a management training in German.

Meanwhile, all I want to do is have some nice girly drunken fun. Clara called. There is a quizz in an Irish pub tonight. Theme: L.O.V.E ! Can't wait to be there!

If Paris was a girl part 5

I've had a long and hard day at work, trying to talk to my boss and getting clues about his past, nothing. He seems more focused on work, more silent as well. Maybe even harder in a way, boss-like harder. And you know what? I looove it.

I'm not fond of machos you know. I'm pretty simple and open-minded. I just like cute, cool, funny, smart, nice guys. But when my boss does his demanding-powerful-uncompromising thing, it really turns me on like... crazy. I get excited everytime he's being hard on someone, or in front of people... except when he's criticising me of course... But I love it when he does it to the others.

All this power and mystery in only one man! That even makes him hotter than i ever imagined him. I wonder why I've never fancied him. Maybe because he's my boss. I never fancy my bosses or workmates. Never. That saves me a lot of trouble... at work... since trouble's been my best enemy for years in my personal life. More on that later. It's nice and important to protect a part of your life I decided it would be my work.

I'm home with my housemate Clara. Been friends since Uni years. We're close but different you know. She's my good friend, been collecting fun stories, experiences and all together. More on her later.

Told her all about the story waiting for her advice. She became curious about the issue and had a great idea!

We're officially on a mission: unveil Gabriel and Mark's mysterious past thanks to Google, the best invention on earth since mini-deo sticks!

Mission kit: Pizza / beers / chocolate/ comfie pyjamas:

- Ok… Gabriel Hardy Gallant and Mark Rozenstrauss! There we go!

- Hardy Gallant?!

- Yes why?

- Well, is he hardy...

- ... and is he gallant?! HAHAHAHA

- and... Rozenstrauss means rose bouquet...

- OMG... sounds promising. Ooooooooooh!

- … hum… very interesting…

- ...no way… OMG…

- the hairstyle hahaha… oh they looked so hot together…

- Gabriel is so hot ... and that Mark of yours!!! Lucky bitch!

- mmm this smile… who’s that bitch? … 10M$! That was a big agency…

- oh… they did this commercial… they’re so funny… ah I love them…

OMFGoodness!!! You will never believe what we just found! We were so excited with all the news we couldn’t stop eating and drinking… hence stomach ache… but so much joy!

Clara had a massive crush for Gabriel! She thinks he's really hot and has a nice smile and all. She also knows Mark... showed her some pictures of our last company party. She thinks I'm lucky to have a hot and powerful boss.

So apparently Mark and Gabriel were associates in their NY office. They used to work in the same team and earned loads of projects. They were so successful and hot that they became associate directors in the agency. Then 6 months later Gabriel suddenly left the company with no explanation, but people thought it was for personal reasons.

Hmm, rather mysterious don’t you think? Makes my imagination go wild! Sweet dreams, come to me! Us... come to us!